And Today, it seems like none of that shit matters…
I’ve been consumed by things that mean nothing to me, things for which I have never really cared. A small road block on the path leading to where I want to go in life, though the closer it approached I didn’t know what to do. So, I stopped. And everything that ever meant anything to me, the things for which I was pursuing, stopped too. Nothing got better. Simply wasted time because I couldn’t just fulfill the requirements set before me. Good intentions are just a bunch of fucking bullshit. No one ever became famous for how much they wanted to change the world, though I don’t even want to be famous or well-known. No one gives a good shit if someone wanted to pursue meaning and wanted to be happy. Because everyone wants that. Wanting the best only leads to contentment in those words because it is so damn difficult to have the best, to achieve joy in something more than to simply achieve a moment of enjoyment.
In all actuality, all the fucking shit in my life that I don’t care about, it’s simple, it’s easy, it’s shit everyone gets past on a day to day basis, yet I’ve been crippled to a shameful shell of myself.
I don’t care to humor you much more with the ridiculousness of the small things that have seemingly handicapped me. I just want you to know, these things have kept me from what I care about the most. I’m sorry for this because you are one of the things that I’ve allowed myself to lose sight of midst the everything else, and it tears me apart because of it.
